Confident??

Hello Again! Not drinking. Is not as easy as it sounds. Thinking about not drinking is even harder to do. My husband took me out on a spontanious date night on Monday. I normally would have had a glass of wine before we left & then a bottle or two at dinner and more when we got home. The night would have ended in a drunk fight and we both would have been miserable. That's not how it went. It started with this comment by my husband, "as long as you don't have any wine we will have enought money for a really nice dinner." WHAT!! I have been sober for 114 days now. Each day has been a struggle, and he knows that. Why would he put my sobriety into question. In the past I would have gone off on him, but the new sober and calm me just brushed it off. That's not to say I wasn't hurt for a second by it. We went out and had a wonderful dinner at a local gastropub. Now, they only serve beer and wine at this establishment, so I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew there would be temptation, but I also knew that I had to be strong & confident. The table next to us kept talking about how wonderful their glass of wine was. Here's the great part, the thought of even smelling the wine made me sick to my stomach! Confidence, yes!! We had the most amazing Chef Tasting Menu for dinner. I could not tell you a single thing we ate, but it all was amazing. I do know we ate octapus! The night ended very quietly with us discussing how nice it was to come home and just chill in front of the TV. Confident . . ya, I guess I am. Peace, Love & Eternal Happiness, Me.

Dreams

Hi! So last night I had the craziest dream. I was with an ex boyfiend, his wife and all of his friends. We were in the town where he lives, at least I think that's where we were, and we were bar hopping. We were walking from place to place and everyone kept asking me why I wasn't drinking. I said "because I'm sober now. I don't drink anymore." Now you may think, so what. Well, this is the first dream I have had where I have not had a drink or felt the craving for a drink. In my dream people didn't question it, they just went with it. Ok, so not an earth shattering dream. But it was one of those were even if I woke up for a minute, when I fell back asleep the dream kept going. It was very bizarre. It was so vivid. I wonder if when you dream of someone, are they dreaming of you at the same time? Peace, Love & Eternal Happiness, Me.

Day 100

DAY 100! I did it! I made it! I started this sobriety thing telling myself that I only had to do it for 100 days. As 100 days got closer I was getting anxious, I didn't have a plan for day 101 and after. What was I going to do? I couldn't drink again, I can't drink again. I have come too far to go back now. Then two things happened. First, I was watching "House of Cards", two of the charater's are in AA. One has been sober for 365 days, the other for 5110 days (that's 14 years people!) He said, all it takes is one drink to be back at day 1. One drink and you have to do it all over again. Then they show the guy who has been sober for 365 days have one drink. This leads to a night of drunken escapades & ends in his death. One drink. No thank you. Second, it is Lent now. Last week was Ash Wednesday. I am religious, but have never given anything up for Lent. My parent's were pretty easy when it came to that stuff and having no meat on Friday's. But, this year I thought, perfect. I will give up alcohol for lent. There is a first time for everything and this year is as good as any to start this tradition. Plus, it gives me a plan for day 101 & beyond. Of couse, Easter is only 30 days away. But, today I joined Belle's Team 180! I've got this - I really do. Wanna hear a funny story? We were in church a few weeks ago and Alison asks before communion "Momma, if you don't drink alchohol anymore how are you going to do communion?" Fair qustion, but I have already figured that part out. I take the juice meant for the kids. Easy Peasy! Blessings, Me.